


You're the darkness in me

by orphan_account



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M, as if i ever beta read my works, i never thought that there will come a day where i will write platonic woochan but here we go, jaehyun taeil jungwoo and yedam are just mentioned, not beta read we die like men, one day i will go and fix any mistakes i promise, this is angsty, uh im sorry if this is weird since quarantine has been messing up my mind, woochan are platonic here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 08:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Woojin holds out his pinky and Chan seals it with his own. A few more light conversation and Woojin is off on his way since the sun is beginning to set. It is nothing new and Chan has faced this situation a lot of times since Woojin and his friends are such daredevils and are clever ones at that too, since they managed to get away from trouble most of the times.Still, Chan just cannot brush away the worry swirling in his chest.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Kim Woojin
Kudos: 4





	You're the darkness in me

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea comes when I listen to Palo Santo by Years & Years and I Need a Doctor by Dr Dre ft Eminem & Skylar Grey. I have been in a serious writerblock for months and this can be said as my attempt to not get my writing skills rusty. I hope that this make sense since I write this at 1 am with a messed up mind from quarantine.

“Hey, Channie.”

Said male looks up from his novel and is greeted with a smile from his best friend. Woojin is still clad in his school uniform despite school has long since over and it is obvious that he has not make his trip back home yet. Marking the page he is currently reading with a pen as a makeshift bookmark, he sets the book aside and turns his attention to the raven haired boy in front of him. “Why are you here so late into the evening?”

Woojin takes a nearby stool and sits opposite him. “It is wrong to visit you now?” He questions but immediately retracts back at the bore look Chan sends his way. “Okay, I just got back from hanging with Jungwoo and the others and I thought of stopping by.”

The brunet nods at the reply. His family runs a book store in the small town they live in and Woojin needs to pass it on his way home. His visits have been rare lately though since Woojin usually out with his other friends but he always find time for Chan. His dedication should be praised though since Chan usually is stuck taking care of the store so their meeting only take place here.

“Are you busy this weekend, specifically Saturday?” Woojin asks and Chan turns to the calendar near the counter. A red circle surrounds the 17 which means that he is on duty again. With a sigh he shakes his head and that makes Woojin pouts slightly. “Stuck with the store again? Can’t you swap duty with Yedam for once?”

Chan smiles apologetically. “He is stuck studying until he gets his grades back up. Why though? Is something special going to happen on that day?” 

“Nothing much but I thought of asking you to join me with the others to explore the forest at the North side of the town along with Jaehyun, Jungwoo and Taeil.” Woojin mutters and leans back on his chair, unbothered by the judging stare his friend gives him.

“You know that it is dangerous right? Nobody ever goes there and you might get lost!”

His concern is obviously taken lightly since Woojin gives him a smug smile. “Why, are you concerned about me?” It disappears soon though and Woojin caress his knuckles lightly to reassure him. “Nah, we did not even planned to go too deep. Just trying to admire the nature and that’s it. Plus, we are going in the afternoon so it’s safe!”

Chan’s uneasiness remains but he ignores it. “Alright I will trust your judgement. And as usual, no telling others until the need comes.”

“You sure are the best friend in the world!” Woojin grins; obviously satisfied with the answer. It is the same routine - Woojin always invites him to do something his friends and him come up with (which Chan usually unable to participate thanks to his stricter household) and if he can’t go, he will promise not to tell the others because the plan is most likely will be ruined by the elders.

Woojin holds out his pinky and Chan seals it with his own. A few more light conversation and Woojin is off on his way since the sun is beginning to set. It is nothing new and Chan has faced this situation a lot of times since Woojin and his friends are such daredevils and are clever ones at that too, since they managed to get away from trouble most of the times.

Still, Chan just cannot brush away the worry swirling in his chest.

That fateful day comes and nothing really interesting happens. Woojin does drop by his store with his friends before fulfilling the plan; still trying to drag Chan with no avail. He eventually leaves with a promise to hang out and Chan watches him go until he disappears out of his view.

When night arrives, the uneasiness that has been bothering him since the afternoon still lingers. It only intensifies when his home phone rings and Yedam leaves the table to answer it. He ignores it and tries to focus on his dinner until his younger brother comes back.

“Who is it?” His father asks and Yedam glances at him before replying.

“It is Woojin hyung’s mother. Apparently he is still not home since the afternoon.”

Chan’s chopsticks fall onto the table with a clutter.

The next hours passed by in a blur. Chan eventually confesses about the plan Woojin and his friends had and it sends their small town in chaos. He avoids looking at the families of the missing boys throughout the night, guilt creeping in his heart for not stopping them. The elders form a search party to look for them but the plan is postponed until the morning since it begins to rain heavily, making it dangerous to go ahead with the search.

Chan cannot get a wink of sleep that night. He listens to the sound of the rain all night; praying that they will all be found safe and sound.

The next morning the search party heads to the forest yet they come back with empty hands. It is as if the boys just disappear into thin air as no traces of them are found. The search goes on for two more days before it stops all over. Everyone console him that it is not his fault yet the guilt still lays heavy in his heart. The disappearance of the boys really affected the town as everyone is solemn for months.

It is about five months after the incident that miracle happens. The people in the town are slowly back to their old self when the news hits them. A police patrol that is in shift to watch over the area of the forest to prevent anyone to go there finds Woojin near the entrance of the forest, sprawled out on the ground unconscious. His body is covered in bruises while his clothes are dirty with mud and dried blood.

Hope blossoms in the missing boys’ families for answers on what happened that day. When Woojin wakes up two days later, however, he barely speaks a word. When his friends’ names are brought up, he gives a violent reaction and cries until he passed out. He eventually locks himself in his room and refuses to let anybody in including his parents.

That matter eventually becomes a forbidden topic to be spoken as it only brings pain to all the people involved. Everyone seems to lose any hope on knowing what happened that day.

Chan begins his visits to meet Woojin three months after that and he is dismissed every time. Only on his seventh visits do Woojin allows him in yet he speaks no word to him at all. He only stares off into spaces and pays no sign of acknowledgement on whatever Chan is talking about.

It is almost as if only his body returns and his soul is still missing along with his friends.

Still, Chan continues his visits in hope that his friend will finally talk to him. It is painful to see him in such a vulnerable state yet knowing that he is the only person permitted to stay in his room is what keeps him going.

It is not like he wishes to know what happens that day. Sure, he is curious on whatever goes down but all he wants is to get his friend back. They may have their own groups of friends when they enter high school but they are always each other’s best friends no matter with whom they are friends with.

However, every human being has their own limits.

Chan has lost track of how many times has his visits is left with no results. He is getting tired of striking random conversations in hope of the other to join him just to be let down every single time. With a sigh he stands up and heads towards the door when he hears the other calls out to him.

“Chan.”

Woojin’s voice is hoarse from the lack of use and barely above a whisper but Chan hears it loud and clear. He turns around so quick that he almost gets a whiplash and sees that Woojin is staring at him.

“I don’t think that I should be here.”

The brunet walks closer to the other and only stops when Woojin looks the slightest bit uncomfortable when he is getting nearer to the foot of the bed. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t belong here. I hope you understand.”

It is perhaps the worst moment but Chan cannot help himself from losing his temper. “Can you tell me clearly? Stop being so cryptic!”

Despite his outburst Woojin barely flinches. He stares at him and Chan can see the longing look on his face; a contrast from his usual blank expression.

“I’m sorry.”

The anger still flares in his veins from the lack of proper explanation so he turns on his heels to walk out of the room. He is stopped on his tracks though when he feels Woojin’s bony fingers catch his wrist.

He remains frozen and he can feel Woojin holds his hand before caressing his knuckles. He knows that gesture all too well – it his silent plea for Chan to stay. When they are children, Woojin used to do that in hope for Chan to try and convince his parents in letting him have a sleepover. Chan is rarely allowed since his parents fear that he will burden Woojin’s parents and he remembers feeling disappointed as he rely the answer to the other.

But right now, when the answer depends on him, he feels declining. He is disappointed and mad that Woojin is not giving him straightforward replies. He is also hurt that it takes this long for him to open up like he lacks trust on him.

He yanks back his arm and avoids his gaze from watching Woojin’s crestfallen face. His mind is a mess and he needs some time alone. He grabs his bag on the floor and walks out of the room, never once turning back.

Only when he reaches his room does he allow his tears to fall down. He never really realises just how much that incident affects him until the moment Woojin catches his wrist.  
During all the time he knows Woojin, the latter’s hands are always warmer compared to him. But when he holds his hand earlier, he can hardly feel warmth radiate from his bony hands and it just makes him realises that the boy that was in front of him is just a shell of the person that he once know.

Woojin disappears the next morning. This time it only takes two weeks before the news calm down and everything goes back to normal. His disappearance hardly leaves any effect because when he is found, it feels like he is still missing.

Chan does not tell anyone about their conversation and the moment he finishes high school, he leaves the town for Seoul. He meets new people and starts anew in a foreign place. Never once does he come back to his hometown because he knows that his efforts to begin again will crumble the moment he is close to the source of his painful memories.

He wishes that he can proudly say that he has healed but in the earliest of mornings he is proved wrong. He can hardly sleep thinking of the various ‘ifs’ that can prevent all of this from happening. There are thousands of questions that are left unanswered that linger in the back of his mind.

Nobody blames him for what had happened but he still feels that he is the one at fault. Because maybe he is given an opportunity to get his best friend if he did stay yet he ended up following his emotions and missed it.

In the darkest of nights, to no one will he admit that he can still feel Woojin’s icy hand on his wrist, asking for one last chance.

**Author's Note:**

> The tittle is the lyrics of Palo Santo and 'the darkness' refers to the incident since it basically fucked up Chan's life.  
> I actually thought of making this a chaptered fic but I am too lazy and it is too stressful to do thus the rushed and terrible ending. Maybe one day I will turn this into a chaptered fic or a series but it is quite unlikely. Thanks for reading!


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